Ability. Opportunity. Effort. And Excuses!

The interesting conversations I get to have with my kids.

Yesterday's post and convo with Sam explained how excuses can get in the way of our formula for achievement.  If you haven't read it I suggest you go there first or if you have read it to recap.

So..... I'm talking with Jeff about excuses and he, ever the wordsmith and perfectionist, told me that it would fit into the formula in the following way.  X represents excuses.

((A + O)/X)E = Achievement

Basically, this is the mathematical representation (a lot of syllables there) of how eXcuses will take away from your Ability + Opportunity even before you get the chance to put in the Effort.  Therefore you'll need a lot more Effort to overcome the eXcuses to get to the Achievement desired.

In talking this over with Jeff again - he knows much more than I do about math formulas - we have began the conversation about where Attitude fits into the equation.  Stay tuned!

Make sense?  Welcome your thoughts.

Effort vs Excuse

I was talking with Sam this morning on the way to the bus stop.  We have some interesting conversations in that short time frame.  My boys seem to do better with short "chats" vs long "lectures".  It's likely most kids do.

We were discussing grades.  I try not to be a helicopter parent but I also don't want to fly so high that I don't know what's going on.  It's difficult to determine the proper altitude.  I'm open to suggestions here.

Sam started out this last semester with a bang in math.  More like a dud.  He was late on his first 3 assignments.  He is extremely gifted in math but sometimes the effort isn't there.  I've discussed this previously.

Well, the good news is that he has A's or some form of an A in all of his classes except math.  At one time math was a D-.  But, it has been steadily climbing.  It is now a B- and when you look at the details as to why one thing stands out.  He got 58 out of 100 on one of his major quizzes so far this quarter.  But the good news (and I always TRY to mention the good news to him) is that he hasn't had another late assignment since the first three.

Back to our walk and my investigation as to why a kid so smart would end up with a 58/100.  I asked if he studied.  He said he didn't thing he needed to.  I asked if he thought he made the right choice.  He said he thought he knew it all and it was over easy material.  I asked if he double-checked his work and he said it was easy enough that he didn't think he needed to.  Finally, he offered that the wording on the quiz was confusing to him so that's why he didn't do well. (This was all in five blocks!)

So after a few steps of silence He came to the conclusion that perhaps he didn't have a good excuse as to why he did poorly.  I suggested he learn from this mistake and put more effort in next time and gave him a hug and sent him on his way.

See previous post about my effort theory (http://boygeniuses.blogspot.com/2012/02/ability-opportunity-effort.html).

Hopefully, there was much more learned by both of us than about math or grades.

Have a great day!

Organized Chaos

Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside Sam's head.

OK, many times.

I just drove his saxophone that he forgot up to school for him to have for band practice.  No problem.  Kids forget things.  I had the time and was glad to do it.

When I got there I ran in to one of his teachers who was going to e-mail me but since I was there she decided to ask me if I would help Sam by getting him a folder so that he could become more organized.  He is doing very well in her class but she explained to me that it is a "challenge" to find assignments once they are passed out.  Our assumption is they get "lost" in his backpack or worse yet the deep, dark cave he chooses to affectionately call a locker.

I talked with his mother on the phone - she is really the organization in this organization - and she explained to me that we originally bought him a folder with different slots for assignments and we're not sure where that is and just within the last couple of weeks big brother Jeff - who in his past has had challenges with organization skills but has greatly improved in this area - gave Sam a folder and let him in on his methods of how he keeps track of things.  And, frankly, Jeff does a pretty good job.

However, neither Anne or I have seen any of these items and we fear the worst... lost in the cave ( I mean locker).  The teacher admitted that Sam is very bright and there are many more good things going on than bad but we agreed that this is a life skill that will help him for all his life if he can master it.

Speaking of mastery, I find it interesting that inside the same brain from which this chaotic scenario I've just described flows also comes the ability to organize and assimilate incredible musical compositions.  If that doesn't take some sort of organization I don't know what does.  Most of his songs he'll organize in an hour or two and it amazing to me the level of complexity that he puts together in a rational (organized) manner.  He seems to go into some kind of "zone" when composing and it is fun to watch.

Hard to figure out and challenging to parent.  But at the same time beautiful to watch and see develop.  The joy of parenting.

Here's a couple links to his newest songs where he has organized the chaos into complex organization.  I hope you enjoy!

This first one is called Electron Collision.

This next song is called Finish Line

Have a great day and make it apparent you are a parent!

Ability. Opportunity. Effort.

I talk about these three things a lot with my boys.  It is sort of a "recipe for achievement" that I've developed.  I haven't read it in any books so I believe it to be my original idea.

Here's how it goes... and I really didn't like math that well as a kid.
(Ability + Opportunity) x Effort = Achievement

Let's break it down.

Here's the definitions as found at www.dictionary.com.

Ability - competence in an activity or occupation because of one's skill, training, or other qualification

Opportunity - an appropriate or favorable time or occasion

Effort - something done by exertion or hard work

Achievement - something accomplished, especially by superior ability,special effort, great courage, etc.; a great or heroic deed.

What I try to tell my boys (and myself) is that it really doesn't matter if you have a ton of Ability and a whole bunch of Opportunity because if you multiply that by no effort than you won't achieve much in this world.  On the other hand you may not have much ability or the opportunity may not be high but if you put forth a strong effort you can accomplish a lot and possibly (likely) more than those with the Ability and the Opportunity.

Pretty deep, huh?

One way this plays out in the real world is in sports.  We have an excellent local women's basketball team and the best player on the team does not have the most ability.  She wasn't recruited that highly out of high school.  Certainly not as highly as others currently on her team. But, she was given the opportunity to play college basketball and through sheer effort she has become the best player and she is a joy to watch play.  

I would easily take five players like her and beat five players with more ability but less effort every time we played.

Thanks for reading!

Just when you think you've got them figured out!

We had a group of good friends over for bible study followed up by a Super Bowl party this past Sunday.  We had a great time.  We actually cleaned the house before they came over.  That was a good time.  My wife and I are thinking we should invite more friends over because we'll keep the house cleaner.  Something to think about...

Anyway, there was going to be a wide range of kids from our 15 year old Jeff on down to a couple of toddler/crawlers.  Well, my thoughtful wife had it all planned out.  She had one of the boys rooms set up for the older portion of children with legos and games with smaller pieces.  She had one room set up for any age kids to watch some classic DVDS - gotta like Disney - and finally our bedroom was the quiet room for the little ones to nap in, if necessary.

My wife even went as far as to dig out some of the classic baby toys for the little ones.  Even though our youngest - Sam - is 11 she still has them for company even though we don't have too much company.  Hmmm...

It turns out the baby toys were a hit.  Especially the one with the different size rings and they are also different colors.  So simple yet very effective in keeping the young ones busy.  Which is more than half the battle.

The event was a success.  At least we thought so and hopefully so did our guests.  Everyone packed up and we cleaned up Sunday night and went to bed.  Got the kids off to school Monday morning and went to work.  When my boys - remember 15 and 11 - came home guess what toy they decide to play with?

You guessed it.  The colored ring toy.  Granted they didn't play with it in the same way as the younger ones but it was definitely their toy of choice for afternoon.  They also played together with it without arguing.  They got creative and there was no screen time or wining over who did what and a lot of laughter.  It was marvelous!

Just when I thought the only thing that interested them had to have a screen or be plugged in in some way they proved me wrong.  I guess you never truly have them figured out!

Truly a reason to keep it simple and don't ever think you have all the answers.  Just know where to go to get them.

Thanks for reading.

Mostly A's; A couple B's and a D

The issue of school grades comes up often in my house.

Sometimes too often by me.  I tend to operate on the premise that my boys with their abilities should be getting all A's.  Their mother and I have talked this over and agree.  We've talked it over with the boys and they believe they should, too.

But the recent report card says different.

If you think that a kid who is a genius will automatically get A's and that school will be easy for them than you are mistaken.

My youngest, Sam, is in 6th grade and this is his first year of grades.  Everything up to then has been basically pass/fail or some sort of "he's doing good enough to meet grade level" system.  Now, in 6th grade he's finding out there are consequences for not turning in assignments or turning them in late. GRADES! There are repercussions (no musical pun there) for not studying for a quiz or test and waiting until the last second to do that project you knew about for two months.  Organization is another challenge!

Despite all of that, Sam finished his first semester with a B+, A- and the rest were As or A+.  A very good start and we were very happy for him.

You would think that Jeff and his IQ should breeze through school but he has had challenges from the beginning.  I've mentioned previously about his health issues and thankfully we are past those.  I've mentioned his intellect and his memory so those really come in handy.  Jeff has struggled with getting started, motivation to do well, feeling challenged and follow-through.  I think he is behind in these areas but now that his health issues are mostly out of the way he is catching up fast.  He also developed his own system for using his planner and it was quite innovative and useful.

However, a D in his Art class because he failed to turn in a couple long-term assignments tells me there is still room for improvement.  The rest of his grades were in the A and B category.  Actually all As and on B.

My concern for our kids and yours goes beyond grades.   It is how they prepare, come up with the solution to a challenge on their own, organization and time management.  Basically these life skills will take them farther than any grades ever will and if these skills are the foundation the grades will take care of themselves. It is not the other way around.